The Survival Benefits of Social Coordination”

I recently read an article, An Evolutionary View-What Followers Want from Their Leaders, that explains the three characteristics dating back to the ancient tribes that every follower needs from their leader.

Roughly two million years ago, the hunter-gather living style did not have formal leadership roles.  With tribal-warfare being the major cause of death during the Old Stone Age, tribes needed to establish leadership to survive and that’s where social coordination was formed.

“Social coordination is best facilitated by a decision-making process in which one individual initiates a plan and others agree to pursue it…In this way, leadership evolved as a resource for group success and survival”

The following explains the three core qualities that every tribe follower needed from their leader:

1. Choosing when and where to move
2. Peacemaking within the group
3. Defending against rival groups

Leadership still continues to shape around the core values (along with many others) that will create inspiring leaders:

1. Direction: When your followers aren’t sure what path they should go down
2. Peacemaking: When your followers are having issues with other individuals in the group
3. Protection: When your followers are threatened by competition or even bad luck

The article was fascinating because it illustrates that for the past 2.5 million years the needs of followers have not changed.

With these three basic needs in mind, the authors want you to reflect on your leadership values and ask yourself one question: Why would anyone follow me?”

For more information on An Evolutionary View-What Followers Want from Their Leaders: http://www.hoganassessments.com/sites/default/files/What%20Followers%20Want.doc.pdf

“It is time for us to stand and cheer for the doer, the achiever-the one who recognizes his/her challenges and does something about it.” -Vince Lombardi

The Four Sins:

1. Interrupting. “I really am not interested in paying attention to what you have to say which is why I’m not allowing your to finish your sentences and telling you what I think instead-obviously what I have to say is more important than what you’re saying.”

You probably don’t mean to communicate this idea when you interrupt.  Nonetheless, that’s the message you’re sending.  Whatever you gain by getting your two cents in prematurely, you lose from a relationship perspective. You may be making the greatest point in the world, but the odds are your relationship partner resents your interruption even if she/he appreciates your idea.

2. Finishing the other person’s sentences. This may seem like a harmless behavior, but it conveys another message that hurts relationships: “I know how to complete your thoughts better than you do.”

When you commit this sin, you most likely do so with good intent.  You may think you’re showing the other person that you’re on the same wavelength, that you think alike.  In fact, finishing a sentence is even worse than interrupting.  It’s one thing to stop someone from speaking.  It’s something else to speak for him.If this sounds like you, next time you finish someone’s sentence, watch the  person carefully.  They may not say anything, but see if their eyes or body language reveal their true feelings.  Do you see a slight grimace? Does the  person’s eyes narrow or glare? Once you witness a negative reaction, you’re less likely to make the same mistake.

3. Lying or faking it when you haven’t been paying attention. Picture this scenario: For whatever reason, you’re distracted.  Your attention wanders and you miss everything someone is telling you.  Rather than admit you didn’t get everything, you attempt to fake it. You nod your head.  When the person asks if you agree with him, you say “yes”.  You may think you got away with it, but you’re probably wrong.  When you’re really listening, people know it.  You’ve probably experience this situation in reverse yourself at one time or another.  Perhaps you were speaking with someone you can “feel” he wasn’t fully engaged. He may have been nodding and looking right at you, but you could sense he was distracted. Do you remember how this felt on the receiving end?

Remind yourself that other people can sense if you’re not listening, and don’t fake it.  Force yourself to be honest and admit you didn’t catch everything that was said. Request that he/she repeat it.  Ask for clarification or elaboration.  In this way, you’re being honest rather than deceitful.  Remember, honesty nurtures relationships, and deceit damages relationships.

4. Rehearsing for a conversation. You may ask yourself: Doesn’t everyone do this? Isn’t it natural to think about what you are going to say as the other person is talking? Communication is a two-way street; your responses are ideally based on what your relationship partner is telling you.  A common problem in communication happens when you prepare what you’re going to say to the point that you’re disconnected from the conversation in the present time.  The best way to avoid this disconnection is to focus intently on what your relationship partner is saying. Concentrate on being present in the moment, and responding spontaneously to the conversation.  The more you focus on the other person, the more likely you’ll be perceived as a good listener.

Source: Going Bonkers: “Are You Listening To Me?”

http://www.gbonkers.com/index.html

Derailer #1: Excitable

John was a VP of Sales for a large manufacturing company in Chicago. He had been with the firm for fifteen years, as it had grown modestly. One thing the CEO noticed over time was John’s inability to keep good people around him.

He would hire a salesperson—a top producer—who would be there for a couple of years and then move on.

John had been asked about this problem but always blamed it on: “These people today just don’t have any loyalty.”

But the CEO knew something different. HR had done an exit interview with the last person that left, and it was quite revealing. The salesperson had revealed John’s true nature. He flew off the handle during sales meetings, he would get angry at prospects right in front of his salespeople and he seemed very hard to please regardless of what order was brought in.

It seemed that John would always emotionally erupt at the very wrong time.

Now that the CEO knew this, he had to take action. He couldn’t afford to have a VP of sales in a position that impacted the company’s growth that was derailed in leading his people. And the CEO knew how much it cost to lose a top talent.

So, do you know a John? Is he in your company? And have you convinced yourself there’s nothing you can do about him?

The Background

People who are excitable will erupt in an emotional display that puzzles those around them. They’ll be perfectly calm one minute and screaming at their counterparts the next. When you look at what causes it, you don’t always see it, because it’s very seldom something that happens externally.

It’s always internal. As we say in our coaching, there are five things that cause people to be derailed: stress, familiarity, tiredness, boredom and flexibility.

In certain circumstances it can be one or more of these causes to be a derailer. Regardless, a derailed leader destroys morale and shuts down people’s creative spirit.

The Real Cost

Those of you who think: “This is just a person with a temper problem,” you’re wrong. This person costs your organization hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of dollars each year they’re allowed to destroy the spirit of their team.

In John’s case, the CEO estimated that the five people John had lost over a five year time span had cost the company $750,000 in profits ($150,000 x 5). This company operated at a five percent net margin, so that was essentially like losing a fifteen million dollar account.

That didn’t include the account value these salespeople took with them when they left. This derailer is extremely expensive, and as you look around your company, watch for these people because they will have a big impact on your firm.

Great at business skills. Lousy at behavioral skills. What does that mean?

It means that our Business Schools are doing a great job of educating grads on the technical competencies of business–but spend no time on how they behave in a way that inspires leadership, allows for innnovation, allows for great relationships. She said, “We need leaders who know how to bring the best out of people. And that takes post graduate training because they aren’t getting it in school.”

Principled Behavior for a Great Cause

We agree with that synopsis. Dov Seidman, the CEO of LRN and author of the book “How,” says, “There is nothing more powerful than inspirational leadership that unleashes principled behavior for a great cause.”

If someone were to assess your leadership skills, is that what they’d say?

She spent the next 20 minutes talking about a different kind of behavior problem than what I was referring to. She talked about being drunk at work, sexual harassment, not showing up on time, leaving early, etc.

Leadership Behaviors

What I was referring to when I said “behavioral issues” was leader behavior. It’s how leaders and managers act in their roles. Here’s a brief list of things (we call them “derailers“) we find get in the way of great leadership:

• Talking too much–not listening to subordinates (or anyone, for that matter)
• Getting overly-excited when stressed (and going into a funk when things turn bad)
• Avoiding important and difficult decisions–procrastinating for fear of looking bad
• Avoiding difficult conversations–with everybody–especially during stressful times
• Spending way too much time on strategy–and not enough on execution
• No awareness at all of how your conversational behavior impacts people
• Not open to feedback and coaching from superior

These are the real behavioral issues that bring a team down when the leader exhibits them. The problem is we take it as par for the course. We say, “Oh, that’s just Jeffrey. He never shuts up.” We laugh about them.

But they aren’t funny. They can be a big hindrance when times get tough and people are on edge. And most of them are correctible.